Ways to Heal After your Partner has Cheated

Happy Lists has moved!

Please read this blog at: http://myhappylists.com/2009/05/ways-to-heal-after-your-partner-has-cheated/

Thanks!

10 Reasons Not to Make New Year’s Resolutions

Happy Lists has moved!

Please read this blog at: http://myhappylists.com/2009/01/10-reasons-not-to-make-new-years-resolutions/

Thanks!

5 Ways to Beat the Post-Vacation Blues

When you get back from a vacation, do you experience the Post-Vacation Blues?  The post-vacation blues are what I refer to as the time after a vacation when you feel sad, depressed, unhappy, unmotivated, and grumpy about life, relationships, and work.  It’s that period of time when you have to come back down to reality and get back to the often-irritating daily grind of life.

For me, it can be really challenging.  I get extra-frustrated because vacations are supposed to be rejuvenating, right?  We’re not supposed to come back and feel worse than when we left.  But sometimes we do.  So what can we do to maintain those positive feelings when we get back from vacation?

 

 

1. Write.  Write about your vacation – all the fun stuff.  Even if it just happened (that’s actually the best time to write so you’ll remember the details), writing about how great your vacation was (and why) will have a positive influence on your state of mind.  So sit down and journal or write a blog about it.  Throw in some pictures so you can look back at it and make yourself happy. 

2. Keep vacationing.  Sure, you have to go back to work, family, and life, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop having fun.  Think of atleast one thing you can do after your vacation that is fun and may even have some vacation-like characteristics.  Can you find a new park and go for a walk after work? Paint a picture? Take some pictures of random stuff around your town or neighborhood?  Find an entertaining activity to remind yourself that “getting back to the daily grind” can still mean having fun. 

 

3. Start planning.  Just because you might need to save up for another 6 months to afford your next vacation doesn’t mean you can’t start planning it now.  Fantasizing about your next fun adventure can be just the thing to help you disassociate from reality for a little while.  Don’t get carried away, but a little planning may be just the thing to lift your spirits.

4. Music.  While you’re on vacation, buy a CD.  It doesn’t have to be related to your vacation at all (you don’t have to buy Hawaiian music if you go to Hawaii) but it can if you like.  Listen to it while you’re there and associate your positive vacation feelings with the music. From now on, listening to that CD is going to make you think of that specific vacation.  When you get back, put it in the player, and when you’re getting ready in the morning and feeling particularly cranky about being back, pump up the volume and jam out.  Remind yourself that the vacation was meant to rejuvenate you, and this music is the tool to help that happen.

5. Short work week.  Do not return on a Monday!  Schedule your return for a Wednesday or Thursday so you have a super-short week to reacclimate yourself to the work day.  Even when you love your job, it takes a few days to get back into the groove.

Here are some additional sources for ways to beat the post-vacation blues:

Beat Those Post Vacation Blues

The Providence Center: Beating the Post-Vacation Blues

Dancing and Drumming Drive Post-Vacation Blues Away

Pamela Kruger’s Post Vacation Blues (you’re not alone!)

16 Ways to Feel Sexy

Whether you’re a man or woman, it feels good to feel sexy. It doesn’t matter who you are, feeling attractive boosts confidence and happiness. While many of these may be aimed towards women, I hope you can find a few creative and fun ways to feel sexy!

1. Cat Walk. If you’ve ever seen a model walk down the cat walk, the image of sexy, beautiful, and attractive probably comes to mind. No matter what you look like, you can walk sexy. Practice walking with good posture, confidence (fake it for now if you have to), head up, and think sexy things. Try walking like this for a week, and see if you notice any differences in the way people look at you.

2. Sexy Eyes. While you’re walking all sexy, make sexy eyes…not crazy eyes, but sexy eyes! Think and channel, “SEXY.”  Make your blinks a little longer, add a mysterious and sexy half-smile, glance at people and blink away. 

3. Smile and Laugh.  Who was the last cranky-butt you thought was sexy?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  Now, you can rock the “bitchy sexy,” but that takes a lot more practice and the right crowd.  Stick with fun and sexy – more people are into that.

4. Get out.  People on the internet might provide you an opportunity to experience sexiness, but that doesn’t come near to getting outside the house and making physical eye contact with another individual.  If you just can’t pull yourself away from the cyber world, get a microphone and practice that deep, sexy, sultry voice. 🙂

5. Shower.  Seems obvious, but if you’re feeling dumpy and down – a shower can be the perfect thing to lift your spirits (and make you smell better). 

6. Dress Up.  After you take that hot and steamy shower, get dressed.  Hair, make-up, cute clothes – the whole shebang.  The more you put into your appearance, the sexier you will feel.

7. Workout.  Whether you’re a size “0” or a size “40” – working out will make your body feel good, give you more confidence, and make you feel sexier.  So whether you think you need it or not, and whether you think you want to or not, just do it.  Start small, do what you can, and start noticing how much better you feel.  Checkout my post on 20 Creative Ways to Get Exercise.

8. Write your fantasies.  You’re on the computer reading this, so you must know to work this thing.  Open up a word document, and start writing about some of your hottest fantasies.  Worried others will find your wild fantasies?  Two words: password protect.  Don’t how to do that?  Ask the little help wizard/paperclip guy in Microsoft Word.  Work on your fantasies, make them juicy and exciting.  Need to feel sexy? Write, read, and enjoy!

 

9. Tan.  If you aren’t white, you’re already one step closer to sexiness!  If you are pasty white and live in America – welcome to the culture of tanning.  Self-tanning lotion is great and safe, so I suggest that.  Start using it.  Take notice to how much sexier you feel.  If it doesn’t help, then don’t do it.  If it does, how easy is it to slab on some sexy every morning?

10. Water.  Water is the basis for physical and mental health.  To function at your best, provide your body and mind with the water it requires.  Start drinking enough, and you will start feeling better physically.  When a body feels good, a body feels good.

11. Flirt.  If you are single, get out and flirt.  Successful flirting is a skill.  If you have a friend you think is great at flirting, ask them to coach you.  If you are married, flirt with your partner.  Yes, flirt with your partner.  I don’t care that you’re married – you can still flirt with one another.  Remind yourself how much fun you had when you first met – re-spark that inner-sexiness from when you first met.

12. Dance.  Pump up that music and move your body.  Can’t dance? Learn.  With the internet, you can learn to do anything.  Practice in private and then take those moves to the dance floor!  Dancing is also a great way to improve your abs, as I talked about in 9 Creative Ways to Workout Abs (without crunches).

13. Connect to your body.  Feeling sexy means that you have complete control over your body and you feel great about what you look like, feel like, and what you are capable of doing with your body.  If you haven’t gotten “in touch” with yourself in a while (or ever, eek!) – go for it.  Knowing and understanding your body is essential to being a strong and sexy individual.  It also comes in handy when you want to be intimate with another individual – you know what you like and need and can have healthy communication about it.

14. The right clothing.  I understand that sweats are comfy, but NO – they won’t make you feel (or look sexy).  Find the right type of clothing to flatter your body type.  Do your research and bring an honest friend shopping with you.  Don’t have enough money to overhaul your wardrobe? That’s fine.  Go buy one flatter thing from Ross, Target, or a second-hand store like Good Will.  Looking good doesn’t need to cost a fortune.  Start small!

15. Get your beauty sleep!  It’s hard to feel sexy and energetic when you feel like your face is dragging on the floor.  Be sure to get enough rest!  Having trouble falling asleep? Check out these Ways to Fall Asleep and be sure to get the beauty rest your sexiness demands!

16. Say it.  “I am sexy.”  How many different ways can you say it?  Try it out loud.  I AM sexy.  i am SEXY.  I AM sexy. I AM SEXY. I am sexy.  Keep going it.  When you need a boost, see how many different ways you can phrase it (and remember to do it outloud for best results!)

 

 Need some more ways to feel sexy?  Check these out:

Ways to feel sexy in a flash

10 Ways to feel sexy again

10 Ways to feel sexier naked

37 Rules to Fighting Fair

Thousands of people have written about fighting fair.  Here’s a compilation of some fair fighting rules.  Resources are available at the bottom.  All partners and couples engage in conflict, but the key is resolving conflict without being destructive.

Couple Fighting

Here are some Do’s and Don’ts to Fighting Fair.  I suggest copying and pasting it to a word document, then add and substract to tailor it to you, and print off a couple copies (one for you, and one for your partner).  When you start really getting into it, both of you should have these near you to remind yourself of how to fight FAIR!

DO:

1. Deal with the Here and Now.  What is the specific problem right now?  Anything older than 24 hours is garbage, so no garbage-dumping!

2. Take responsibility. Use “I” statements as a way to show you are taking responsibility for your own feelings and actions.

3. Be direct and honest about your feelings and what you want.

4. Listen and hear! Try to deal with the other person’s perceptions of the situation as well as your own. Be aware of his/her feelings as well as your own. Check to see whether what you heard is really what the other person is trying to express, and ask him to let you know what she hears you saying.

5. Give the other person equal time. Both people need to express their feelings and points of view to create a full mutual understanding.

6. Attack the issue, not the person. Name-calling puts people in a position to respond angrily and defensively. This is usually used when a person feels he is losing. Name-calling breaks down communication and destroys trust in the relationship.

7. Take a breather by paraphrasing what you think you  heard them saying. “I understand you want to tell me about your day but I need a few minutes to finish what I am doing.” This gives you time to think about your response.

8. Focus on solving a problem/reaching a solution rather than venting your anger or winning a victory. Think win-win.

9. Deal with one issue at a time. No fair piling several complaints into one session. Some people call this “kitchen-sinking” – talking about everything including the kitchen sink!

10. Limit your discussion/fight to no more than 30 minutes. Adults have relatively short attention spans – just look at television programming to confirm this. Long drawn out discussions/fights rarely reach resolution. Instead they just wear the participants out. And when you are worn out, the potential of saying or doing something you’ll regret is much greater. If you are unable to solve your problem in the 30 minutes that you’ve allotted, schedule another time to continue.

11. Brainstorm solutions. Be willing to compromise. Give a little to get a little.

12. Go forth as equals. Don’t use power plays. Gauge the intensity of your anger to the ego strengths of the other person and be responsible with the things your mate has entrusted to you in your relationship. YOU ARE ON THE SAME TEAM.

13. When necessary, take a time-out. A time-out is a short break to cool off, calm down and get perspective. Think of it like pushing the pause button on a video. It’s an opportunity to restore calm and be more reflective instead of reactive. Use the time-out to reflect on why you feel the way you do and how to express yourself in a positive way. Try to think about the other person’s feelings and point of view. Think things through before you speak. Then “push play” again and return to each other to resolve the issues calmly.  A time-out should be at least a half-hour long (but no longer than twenty-four hours). It takes at least a half-hour for your body’s physiology to return to a normal resting state and for your thoughts to become less hostile or defensive. It’s surprising how different a person’s outlook can be after they’ve had a chance to calm down.

14. Give each other the ability to withdraw or change their mind.

15. Speak softly.  If you and your partner have a natural tendency to raise your voice, try whispering.

16. Identify and Define your issue or topic, and stick to it!  Don’t change the subject or bring in unrelated items.  If you have a different item you’d like discuss, save it for the next discussion.

17. Hold hands. (We are not fighting each other, but talking over a problem we are mutually trying to resolve. )

18. Ask questions that will clarify, not judge. A question should never begin with the word “why.” That puts people on the defensive — and we know that defensiveness stops conversation rather than continues it.

 

DON’T:

1. Don’t Refer to past mistakes and incidences.  No garbage-dumping! 🙂

2. Don’t Blame. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements which automatically blame, making the other person defensive.

3. Don’t make comparisons to other people, stereotypes, or situations.

4. Don’t play games.  A game is being played when you are not being straight about your feelings, and when you are not being direct and honest about what you want or need in a situation.  Examples of games are; poor me; silent treatment; martyr; don’t touch me; uproar; kick me; if it weren’t for you…; yes, but…; see what you made me do; and if you loved me…

5. Don’t involve other people’s opinions of the situation (e.g.: “John’s mother agrees with me.”) The only opinions which are relevant are those of the two attempting to communicate at the time.

6. Don’t make threats (e.g., “Do this or else!”). Threats back people into a corner and they may choose the ultimatum in order to save face. You may find later you really do not want to carry out your threat.

7. Don’t demand to win. If you do, your discussion will surely become an argument.

8. Don’t say “always” and “never”.  (“You always…”  “You never…”) These are usually exaggerations and will put the other person on the defensive.

9. Don’t interrupt, talk over or make comments while the other person is speaking. Watch your non-verbal expressions too. Rolling eyes, smirking, yawning etc. all work against fair fighting.

10. Don’t walk away or leave the house without saying to your partner, “I’ll be back”.

11. No finger pointing.

12. Don’t save up feelings and dump them all at once, try to air feelings often.

13. Try not to yell.

14. No talk of Divorce. In the heat of an argument, threatening to leave the relationship is manipulative and hurtful. It creates anxiety about being abandoned and undermines your ability to resolve your issues. It quickly erodes your partner’s confidence in your commitment to the relationship. Trust is not easily restored once it is broken in this way. It makes the problems in your relationship seem much bigger than they need to be.

13. Don’t read your partner’s mind.

14. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind.

15. Don’t use the following: swearing, denunciation, obscenities, character assassination, contempt, sarcasm, or taunting.

16. Do not assume, guess, imagine, take for granted, theorize, surmise, speculate, make gestures, judgments, funny glances or faces about what your partner means. Find out!

17. No belittling each other’s accomplishments. No matter how small or odd they may be.

18. Don’t be afraid to apologize when you are wrong. It shows you are trying.

19. Don’t argue about details. Avoid exchanges like, “You were 20 minutes late,” “No, I was only 13 minutes late.” (An easy way to distract from the problem.)

 

References/Resources:

Fair Fighting Rules: A Formula for Resolving Conflict

Fair Fighting: Turning Arguments into Discussions

Stay Happily Married: Fair Fight Rules

Crisis Center: Fair Fight Rules

Fair Fighting Rules for Couples

Dr. Irene’s Blog – Fair Fighting from Wayne Misner

Technique for Safely Bring Up a Problem

11 Ways to Make Getting Up in the Morning a little EASIER

Unless there is something exciting to look forward to during the day, I typically struggle with waking up and getting out of bed in the morning. I often dread the day and wish I could sleep “a little longer.” For those of you who are able to jump out of bed on the right side with a smile on your face and excited about the day, I am very happy for you. Perhaps you can leave a comment on how you do it (what goes through your mind, have you always done it, what advice could you give).

Ways to Make Getting Up in the Morning Easier

1. Don’t Stalk the Clock. Setting three (or more) alarms over an hour is not a good way to wake up in the morning. Opening your eyes to glance at the time every few minutes will fill you with dread and worry about the moment that clock hits the time that you actually need to get out of bed. Laying there thinking about getting up will only make it harder. The solution?

2. Set ONE Alarm. Put the alarm clock (or cell phone) on the other side of the bedroom. Set it for the time you actually need to comfortably get ready for the day. By setting it across the room, you’ll need to get out of bed to turn it off. This is they key here. When you walk across the room, do not just turn it off and go back to bed. The solution?

3. Go to the Bathroom. Walk your tired and cranky butt to the bathroom. Use the bathroom. Wash your hands, then wash your face. Take some deep breaths and stretch. You may even drink some water before going to bed in the evenings so you’ll need to use the bathroom even more. As you know, you can’t lie in bed all day. At some point, you will need to get up. The key is avoiding hopping back into bed once you do get up.

4. LIGHT. Turn on the lights and open the windows. If it’s still dark outside (I feel your pain) turn on all the lights. Your bedroom, living room, bathroom, etc. The light will spark your brain into daytime mode to help you get out of sleep mode.

5. Sound. Turn on the television or radio. If you feel extra cranky in the mornings, turning on a favorite CD (and singing or dancing along) will surely brighten your mood on those more difficult mornings.

6. Positive Thoughts. If you’re lying in bed thinking about how horrible your day is going to be, you’re never going to get out of bed. You might have a horrible day ahead of you – boring work, challenging work, dealing with difficult people, or maybe you know you’re going to get in trouble from your boss. Lingering on the bad things ahead while you’re lying in bed in the morning (or night) will make it nearly impossible to get up and have a successful morning or day. Set those thoughts aside. Tell yourself that you will worry about those later. Now start talking positively to yourself (in your head or out loud if you live alone). Some examples: I’m strong, I’m smart, I’m capable, I can do this, I will do something fun today, I am loved, I feel good, I feel great, I feel strong…and repeat this over and over and over until you start to feel better.

7. E-mail. Instead of hopping back into bed, commit yourself to writing one positive e-mail to someone you care about each morning. Writing something encouraging to someone else will help you feel better about yourself, about the day ahead – which will hopefully prevent you from groaning your way back into bed.

8. Get enough sleep. This one is pretty obvious. If you feel rested, you won’t have as much need to yank the covers over your face to squeeze in a few extra minutes. Go to bed and go to sleep!!

9. One good thing. Before you go to sleep. Write down (on your computer, on paper, on a whiteboard, anywhere) ONE good thing you get to do the next day. As soon as that alarm charms, think about that one thing as you stumble across the room to turn it off. Get excited about your day! Even if it’s only for ONE thing.

10. Annoying Pets. Sometimes it’s a lot easier to do things for others than for ourselves. Get an annoying pet who annoys you in the morning to take them out. They’ll help you get your lazy bum out of bed. And when you let them back in, why don’t you play for a minute? Throw their ball, rub their bellies, and show them some love. The combination of activity and showing love will make your day easier to start.

11. Bribe yourself. If you’re continuously struggling with getting up in the morning, bribe yourself. You know yourself best, so you’ll know what will be most effective. Choose something small and tangible. And make it daily, so there’s a reward every morning. For example, “When I get up without crawling back into bed, I get a yogurt parfait from McDonald’s.” Condition your body to enjoy getting up in the morning. Scary, I know.

Here’s another good resource: How to Get Up Right Away When Your Alarm Goes Off

Good night and Good luck!


Ways to Fall Asleep

Many of us struggle with falling asleep when we want to. It’s incredibly frustrating when you trudge through a day completely exhausted, and then when your ready to clock out and get some rest – you can’t. The most common probably preventing people from falling asleep?

Thoughts.

That darn brain. Thinking keeps your brain awake, which in turn keeps YOU awake. Most of the solutions for helping individuals fall asleep involve quieting those thoughts.

As an individual who doesn’t have problems falling asleep, I was struggling to come up with some good ideas. And as I promised, the content on these Happy Lists are 100% original. So, since I was unable to come up with a good list, here are some GREAT lists that did a better job than I could have. Good night and good luck!! Hope you find some rest!

How to Fall Asleep in 31 Steps (includes good tips and suggestions in addition to the 31)

10 Ways to Fall Asleep Faster (offers some contradictions to other lists, but you have to pick what will work best for YOU)

5 Ways to Train Your Body to Know when it’s time to sleep

Ways to Fall Asleep and Have a Good Night’s Rest

Melatonin – The Natural Way to Fall Asleep Easily

If you try a TON of things, and you’re still struggling with Insomnia – go see a doctor and get a referral to a sleep specialist. Your regular MD may be tempted to drug you up with prescriptions, but if you go to a sleep center, they can hook you up to machines 🙂 and will have a better chance of discovering the real reason why you’re not falling asleep. Good luck!

9 Ways to maintain long-distance friendships

Whether you met in high school, college, or some other time in life – chances are high that distance will come between you and some of your closest and dearest friends. How are we supposed to maintain long-distance friendships? Some people find it difficult enough to maintain friendships with people in the same town.  So how are we supposed to survive hundreds of miles?

The truth is that it isn’t easy. And that’s okay…if you’re willing to put in a little effort occasionally. And that effort might pay off tenfold if: you suddenly live in the same area, you get married, you get divorced, you have children, you travel through their town, or if you just want to maintain that friendship because it’s important to you.

Ways to maintain long-distance friendships

1. Commit. Just like in a romantic relationship, friendships require commitment. If you’re not willing to make the commitment to stay connected to someone you care about, then simply put – you won’t.

2. Variety. Myspace. Facebook. E-mail. Texting. Calling. There are a variety of ways to stay connect, so there is no excuse not to! The better the friend, the more variety in their ways to connect to you. If you are only using myspace to stay connected to your best friend, chances are that you probably won’t be best friends for very long. It’s important to hear their voice! So use a variety of methods.

3. Driving. I hate people who talk on their cell phone and drive!! But I’m guilty. It’s my main way of staying connected to my best friends. If it’s going to take me 20 minutes to get home, I might as well do something positive on the way there. Headsets are a great idea, and don’t be afraid to say – “hold on” when your driving requires some more attention. And please don’t hit me with your car. Thank You.

4. Memory. While your friend is telling you all about her experiences with new friends, people, and work – it’s likely that you won’t know any of these people. Trying to keep everybody and everything straight can be a challenge. What’s a solution? Write it down. You will need to work extra hard to remember what your friend is saying because you’ll have no other personal connection to it all. Remembering the details and the people’s names is a great way to show your friend that you care and you are paying attention. Need some help remember?

5. Notebook. Grab a spiral notebook while you’re chatting on the phone (NOT while you’re driving!) and jot down the important stuff – people places, etc. Glance over it again to refresh your memory before calling or writing your friend. Little details make a big difference.

6. Plan a yearly trip. Even if you’re both broke, plan a trip together every year (more if you have the funds to do so). Make it an annual thing and take lots of pictures. You can go to your friends place, your friend can come see you, or you can both go somewhere else together. Bring spouses and partners if you want, but warn them that it’s going to be a lot of “catching up” and it could get boring for others.

7. Snail mail. Sending things in the mail may be a thing of the past, but if you don’t want your friendship to ALSO be a thing of the past, it’s time you figured out how to mail things. Yes, there are stamps involved. The post office can help you, but be prepared to wait in line and deal with cranky people. What can you send your friend? Anything! A note, postcard, letter, picture, book, cd, anything!

8. Their friends. Your friend will make new friends. Be ready to accept that, and even more importantly – get to know them! Meet them, write them, talk to them. These people surround your friend’s life. If you are even just casual friends with the new friends, you will stay closer. If they want to surprise your friend, or if your friend really needs help – these new people will know they can count on you. And so will your friend.

9. The bad stuff. When you experience something bad – whether it’s a bad day, or just a bad moment (feeling lonely, sad, angry, etc) call your friend. That’s what friends are for. Don’t think that just because it’s a long distance friendship that you can only share the good stuff. Great friends are there for the good AND the bad. So be sure to call when you need someone to talk to.

Here’s some more good info:

eHOW – How to maintain a long distance friendship

Friends and Friendship

10 Reasons to do Push-Ups

The 100 Push-Up Challenge has become quite popular. I am personally just starting! For a motivator, here are some reasons to do push-ups. This is a great training tool to get you to meet that 100 push-up mark. I’m just starting the program, but I’ll update as soon as I’m done!

1. Muscles. Push-Ups help you build muscles. And muscles burn fat. And burning fat is good. Muscles also look sexy.

2. Lots of muscles. Instead of working one muscle out at a time, push-ups work-out lots of muscles. Don’t take my word for it. Do as many push-ups as you can today. See which muscles hurt tomorrow. I promise it will be more than one.

3. Free. Push-ups are intense. You don’t have to pay to use a gym or fancy equipment. It’s all you baby.

4. Anywhere. You can do push-ups virtually anywhere that has gravity. For comfort and safety, you might not do them anywhere, but you get the point.

5. Impress your friends. I’m not talking to just the guys here, we all know how impressive it is when someone can literally drop down and give you 50…or 100 for that matter.

6. Self-esteem. The more push-ups you do, the better you will feel about yourself.  And they call that positive self-esteem, and that sounds pretty nice to me!

7. Military. In case you choose to join the military, you’ll have the push-up thing mastered!

8. Jail. This is kind of like #5, Impress your Friends.  If you end up in jail or prison for some reason, you’ll impress your cell mate if you can do a bunch of push-ups.  Maybe this will help you avoid some bad situations.  Maybe.

9. Bragging rights. Not just your friends will be impressed, but strangers too!  You can totally brag about how many push-ups you can do.  Just be prepared to prove it.  That will definitely impress members of the opposite sex…or not.

10. Lose weight.  Experts say that exercise is needed to lose weight.  Push-ups are a form of exercise.  That added bonus of push-ups is that they build muscles, which increases your metabolism, making you burn more fat.  So congrats.  Now you’re losing even more weight.

Here’s some additional good reason to do push-ups:

Laurens Fitness (it’s about shoulder blades)

One Hundred Push Up Challenge

15 Reasons NOT to shave your head

It was a sad day in my life when George Carlin passed away. Yes, he was a crazy drug user in his days and (in his words) he was old as f@#%. I enjoyed his humor, and even though his schtick was negative, vulgar, and downright mean, It’s hilarious. It makes me laugh. And laughter makes people happy. So George Carlin is a welcomed inspiration here at Happy Lists.

This list is inspired by one of his routines. The clip of the specific joke can be found here.

I say hey, you goofy looking baldy-headed f@#$. It looks good on black guys. On you, it’s ugly, repulsive, and disgusting. You want to be bald? Do what I did. Wait a while. In the meantime, there’s no excuse for running around looking like a freshly circumcised pig.”

~ George Carlin

Reasons NOT to shave your head

*Please note: This blog entry is just for fun. If you are white and want to shave you’re head, go for it! I’m sure you look great. Don’t take this post too seriously.

1. You’re White. Sorry guys, I’m going to have to side with George Carlin, as will a lot of other women. It’s just kind of gross when your head is shaved. You’re white. You just can’t pull it off that well.

2. You HAVE hair. If you’re not having a balding problem, what are you thinking? You HAVE hair. And in our culture, hair is a valued asset. Appreciate it. There are plenty of baldy-headed guys out there who would. Show them some respect!

3. Sunburn. This goes back to being white, but even if you’re not white – that scalp of yours that has never seen daylight will burn. And let me tell you, that’s REAL attractive. Was that a skin flake I saw just fall to the table during our date? Ooohhh…sexy.

4. The illusion of saving you money. Shaving your head will save you money? Really? You didn’t buy an extra razor to do it yourself did you? If it’s summer, you’ll want to invest in sunblock. And if it’s winter, you might want to invest in a beanie. Money? Splurge for the $7.95 haircut at Supercuts every other month. It’ll be worth it!

5. It makes you cooler. I mean doesn’t. I’m not saying it doesn’t make you look totally radical and awesome. I’m saying that if you’re reason for shaving your head is to “keep cool” while it’s hot out, you’re silly. There’s a reason those middle-easterners rap their heads in cloth. It’s not a fashion statement. Hair is a good way to protect your head from the sun’s blaring rays. So yes, shaving a dog helps them cool down seeing as they don’t sweat like human. But if shaving your head is the only way for you to cool down, I think you might want to seek some medical advice.

6. You’re not in the military. Are you?

7. Skinheads. I don’t think you EVER want to be confused or accused of being a Skinhead.

8. Ancient Greece. If you’re into history. Long hair was a sign of richness and wealth, and shaved heads were saved for slaves.

9. Punishment. Do you realize that people get their heads shaved as punishment? Think prisons, people, prisons.

10. Lice Problem. Wait, this is a reason TO shave your head. Yucky.

11. Supporting Cancer Patients. Again, this is a good reason TO shave your head. If your not shaving your head to support someone going through chemotherapy…it’s not half as cool. Sorry.

12. Britney Spears. Right?

13. Funny Shaped head. You may not realize it, but chances are that you have a funny shaped head, and this will only be more obvious once the hair is gone.

14. Super Hot. If you’re not, you’re not going to pull it off. Your girlfriend saying you are super hot doesn’t qualify you as super hot, either.

15. Not for you. If you’re considering shaving your head for anyone but yourself (minus #11), don’t do it. If you’re not doing it for YOU, then it’s not for you.

*Update: This is intended to be humorous, not hurtful.  If you’re offended because you or someone you love has a shaved head – relax.  I’m sure you look fine.  This is just my opinion.