New Coffee Appreciation Twitter Theme from ZolMedia!
What has coffee done for you? For many, coffee is the drink that brings friends together for sharing, laughter, encouragement. Coffee can pick you up or calm you down. Coffee is many things, and I’d just like to say Thank You to Coffee.
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If you are married or in a serious relationship and your partner has cheated on you – you are probably experiencing a great deal of pain, anger, confusion, frustration, and other negative feelings.
Whether or not you choose to stay in your relationship, it’s going to take some time and effort to heal. Remember, there’s no reason to go through this alone. Don’t be afraid to reach out to family, friends, or a counselor.
To get started on the healing process, try out some of these ideas.
1. Get out of the House. The worst thing you can do right now is isolate yourself. Take this opportunity to try something new, go somewhere you enjoy, and connect with people you haven’t talked to or seen in a while.
2. Write it Out. Expressing yourself when you’re overwhelmed with so many different emotions can be difficult. Take the pressure off yourself and write it out. Don’t edit yourself and don’t hold back. Write everything you’re feeling and thinking. You can choose to share this, or you can keep it private. The act of expressing your feeling, even if you keep it private, will provide an emotional relief.
Write out your pain
3. New Hobby. Channel your pain into a new hobby. Find joy in an activity you’ve been meaning to do. Don’t have anything in mind? Consider some of the following:
4. Write a Song. Even if you don’t sing, write a song. It can be a happy song to cheer you up, or an angry song intended for your partner. Have fun with it, and don’t be afraid to belt it out (for most people, best if done when you’re home alone).
5. Stop blaming yourself. You may not admit to people, but there may be moments when you blame yourself for your partner cheating. If you need to, make a poster that says, It’s Not Your Fault! And put it up where you will see it every day.
6. Two Letters to the Cheater. This is similar to writing it out. These letters don’t necessarily need to be delivered, but it can helpful to write. Why 2 letters? One letter needs to be as angry and as horrible as you can make it. Get every angry thought out of your system. The other needs to be a loving, forgiving letter. You’ll be surprised at how easy it is to write such different letters. Whether you give them to your partner (or ex-partner at this point) is up to you.
7. Avoid a vengeance affair. While getting even (cheating on your partner) may make you feel better in the moment, it is not the solution to permanent healing or relationship improvement. This is a huge choice and something you may regret for a long time so don’t go into it lightly. Take your time deciding on whether or not this is going to be a good option for you. Chances are it will do more harm than good.
8. Forgive. If you can start letting go of the pain and start forgiving, you will experience overall relief. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness – it is a sign of strength. Holding onto bitterness and anger is much easier than letting it go. Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to forget. Forgiveness means accepting what happened, honoring the pain, and putting it away. Will you still feel pain? Yes. And just because you forgive the cheater doesn’t mean they get to come back into your life. Even if you never see the cheater again, it’s important to forgive. Let the pain go, and start welcoming more positive and loving energy back into your life.
9. Cry. Let it out. I mean, really, really let it out. A good cry (even for men!) can be physically exhausting, but letting it all out will relieve some of that tension and pressure that has been building up.
10. Exercise. After you cry it out, it’s time to work it out – physically. However you like to exercise (and even if you don’t) – get active. The physical activity will help to balance adrenaline, cortisol, and other hormones that your body is pumping out in this ultra-stressful time.
Exercising and Self-Care
11. New Chapter. Despite the pain, this affair is opening a new chapter in your life. If you stay with your partner and work it out – it’s going to be an opportunity to improve your relationship. Yes, you are hurting and it may feel like the pain will never go away. But chances are that you were unhappy before this affair began. Recognize this as an opportunity to find your happiness as a couple. If you have decided to leave your partner, this is a very exciting new chapter in your life. Yes, you have financial worries and many other stressors. But guess what? You can do anything with your life now. You are not tied to your partner. If you have children, they get to have a new chapter too. A life where you are happy and you discover all your dreams you’ve been putting off.
12. Self care. What makes you feel better? The best thing you can do is identify what you need to do for self care. Some of the above ideas are exactly that – self-care. Some obvious ideas? Relaxing bath with candles (even for men!), meditation, listening to music, reading, cooking, walking, dancing. Like I always say – get creative!
13. Smile and Laugh. It’s hard to believe that anything could make you happy right now. Watch a funny movie, go to a comedy club, call up your best friend who always gives you the giggles, or play with children. Remind yourself that there is happiness in this word. And go get yourself some.
14. Limit Yourself. Your first reaction to cope and deal with this stress may be to eat too much, drink too much or do drugs. This will never help you heal. If you need distraction at times, that’s fine. Choose a positive activity to distract yourself. This is your new chapter. Make it a good one.
Filed under: Family, List, Men, Personal Growth, Relationships, Women | Tagged: affair, cheating, heal, healing, infidelity, List, marriage, recover, recovery | 3 Comments »
New Year's Resolutions
1. They set you up to fail. You write a whole list of them, or maybe just one or two. But there’s a reason you’re waiting until now to start working on them. They’re difficult, and you’ve failed before. You will fail again.
2. Everybody does it. Why would you want to be part of the crowd like that?
3. Losing weight should be a whole lifestyle change. Instead of trying to lose weight every January, actually change your lifestyle – and you won’t have to keep adding “lose weight” to your list of goals.
4. January is the wrong reason. The new year is the wrong reason to commit to your goals. Feel free to set goals, but don’t chop them up as New Year’s Resolutions. That’s a stupid reason to make positive changes.
5. Just make one. Then you’re not making new years resolutions, you’re making one resolution. And one is manageable.
6. There are better ways. Do your research, and instead of killing yourself over committing to silly new year’s resolutions – learn about setting realistic goals and start making steps to achieve them.
7. Bad economy. Finances are too freaking tight to start adding a bunch of fluff to your life. Stick to the basics and get through the next few months.
8. No need for reminders. You’ve failed at enough things already. Do you really need some more reminders about how much you suck?
9. You’re already stressed out enough. Don’t throw 10 new goals on your plate right now. You’re stressed out enough.
10. They’re probably the same. If your resolutions are probably the same as last year’s, then that’s just more evidence that New Year’s Resolutions suck.
So if you’ve made some new year’s resolutions, it’s time to chuck them in the garbage. Do you want to make changes in your life? Go for it. But be realistic and down to earth about it.
Filed under: List | Tagged: change, goals, happy, List, new year, new year's resolutions, resolutions | 1 Comment »
Save money and give a homemade gift that is creative and unique. Spend some time making it, and your gift will be the hit of the party.
Why spend a lot of money on gifts that will soon be forgotten? Save money, spend a little time, buy a few supplies, and create a homemade gift that will be remembered forever. Show your family and friends how much you really care by taking the time to give a personalized gift. Feel free to take the following gift ideas and make your next gift truly special.
Mixed CD’s
Mixed CD’s may have a reputation of being kind of lame, but with the right touch – this can be the perfect gift. Pick and theme and personalize the CD as much as possible. Birthday gift? Choose all the hit songs from the person’s birth year. Wedding? Include everyone’s first wedding dance song. Anniversary? Find the hit song for that date for every year the couple has been together. The key is to pick a theme and get creative.
Name Frame
If you are good with taking pictures, this one is perfect for you! For each letter of the person’s name, snap a picture of letter occurring in nature or in the world. For example, if the person’s name is Ray, find something that is shaped like an R (a tied rope, tree branch, etc) and then an “A” and “Y.” If the letters are difficult, get creative. Make a “snow letter” (huge like a snow man) or flower petals. Now print the pictures (at least 5×7), mat each individual letter, and put in a long from. The challenge of this gift will be finding the frame. Planning ahead will make it easier to find deals and sales on custom framing if necessary.
Cookies
The old standby of cookies is good, but avoid this during Christmas when everyone is giving cookies. And beware how much the cost of ingredients can add up.
Football Cookies for the Sports Lover
Cookie Alternative
What’s a treat that can last a little while, but is somewhat healthy? Brainstorm what the individual likes and go for that (banana nut bread, chex mix, etc).
Photo Clock
Find a good-sized and affordable clock that looks like it can be opened up fairly easily. Keep the mechanics, but replace the numbers with pictures. This can be done by completely replacing the numbers plate (usually cardboard in the cheaper clocks) or just gluing in pictures over the numbers). If given enough time and thought, this gift can be both fun and class. Use black and white photos for a more timeless look.
Pack of Holiday Cards
A few days after Christmas, buy the packs of holiday cards when they are 50-75% off. For the next wedding or house warming you attend, this makes a fun and unique gift. Include a filled address book for a special touch.
Rainy Day Game Box
Decorate a box and take a trip to the Dollar Store or discount store in your area. Fill the box with marbles, dice, jacks, cards, and other small or fun games that are sure to entertain during a rainy day.
Marbles for Rainy Day Box
Address Labels
Get on your computer and create some fun and entertaining address labels. You can keep it simple and classic (kind of boring) or get just a little silly. An address label with the whole address on one line and stick-figures of the family (with names) below is very adorable. Again, get creative!
Personalized Christmas Picture
Choose a beautiful Christmas card and cut off the front picture. Write the family’s name on the bottom in Calligraphy. Then mat it and frame it, and you have a beautiful personalized Christmas picture.
Homemade Ice-cream Kit
Why spend a ton of money on an ice-cream maker when you can give a personalize ice-cream kit? Include: sugar, vanilla, large freezer ziplock baggies, coffee can. The individual will need to supply their own milk and cream (these can be added but need to be stored properly). Type up the instructions and put it all together.
Instruction: Stir the ingredients together in a bowl, then pour the mixture into a quart-size freezer ziplock bag. Stick this bag inside the coffee can, half-filled with ice and rock salt – about 2 cups of ice and 1/2 cup of salt.
Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream
Salt lowers the freezing point of water, which causes the ice to melt at a lower temperature. The lower freezing point provides the temperature difference needed to transfer heat between the freezing ice cream ingredients and the melting ice. Rock salt doesn’t lower the freezing point as much as table salt does (so it results in smoother ice cream, because it freezes more gradually). Next, begin shaking the coffee can so that the ingredients are whipped together. After five minutes of shaking, let the bag sit for a few minutes. When the ice cream is thick, get out a spoon and enjoy!
Check out these other sites for more ideas:
Filed under: Family, List | Tagged: affordable and nice gifts, cheap but impressive gifts, Creative Gifts, Creative Gifts for Family, Creative Gifts for Friends, creative gifts for parents, Creative Homemade Gifts, Fun Homemade Gifts, Homemade Gifts, homemade gifts for loved ones, Unique Gifts | Leave a Comment »
Do you have a silent husband? Wish he would talk to you more? Try some of these ideas to get your husband to talk more.
1. His likes. Don’t always be jabbering on about yourself. A key to good conversation is talking about things both people are interested in. What does your husband enjoy? Brush up on the things he enjoys and you’ll be able to talk about them with him. If you’re married and don’t know what he’s interested in, perhaps you need to start paying attention.
2. Dinner time. If you’re like many families these days, you eat dinner in front of the television. Even if he grumbles about it, set the table and eat dinner looking at each other. Removing the noise around you will make it easier to actually have a conversation.
3. Mute Commercials. Get your husband into a habit of muting the commercials while you’re watching television. That gives you a couple minutes to chat per commercial. It’s not a lot, but it’s better than being bombarded by irritating advertisements.
4. Conversation Books. There are plenty of fun books that are full of random conversation topics. Sometimes people don’t want to talk about their day, their job, their life. Talking about hypothetical situations is a great way to have a fun and informative conversation. You can learn lots of new things about one another by having new conversations.
5. Express Yourself. Sit your husband down, have him look at you, and tell him what you want and why you want it. Express your feelings, and how important it is to you to have him talk to you more. Be honest and direct, and do not blame. Accept responsibility for your feelings and ask for his help.
6. Talk less. And listen. Don’t try to get your husband to talk more by rambling on and on. Give him a chance, and when he decides to talk, be a good listener.
7. Start Small. Start with small conversations and build up to bigger ones. Show your husband he can trust you as a listener.
Filed under: Family, Men, Relationships, Women | Tagged: conversation, husband, listen, marriage, wife | Leave a Comment »
When the budget is tight, we all look for ways to save money. When looking at the bills we have, sometimes the grocery bill is higher than we think it should be. Obviously you need to eat, but here are some ways to save money while grocery shopping.
1. Actually Go Grocery Shopping. I realize that cooking takes time and effort, and driving to get fast food seems so quick and easy. But if you eat fast food all the time (even off the $1 menu), you are wasting money. Calculate how much money you spend on fast food and go spend that at the grocery store. You’ll be able to get way more meals out of it. And if you don’t like cooking, buy meals that are quick and easy. They may not be the best meals, but it’s better than fast food.
2. Don’t go Hungry. Everyone knows this one, so why do you keep going when you’re hungry? Eat before you go!
3. Eat all your food. Before you go hard-core grocery shopping, try eating every single thing in your cupboards. That might mean getting a little creative with a few meals, but why go grocery shopping when you still have food to eat at home? Only go buy the weekly milk, bread, and eggs and see how long you can go by just eating what you already have.
4. Make a menu. This is one we all know, too, but it’s pretty darn annoying to sit down and plan out meals. But if it’s worth saving the money, do it. Plan out 2 weeks of meals and go buy everything you’ll need and nothing more.
5. Cut out junk food. Do you really need chips and cookies? Eliminating junk food will save you money and inches.
6. Go Alone and Take Your Time. If you have an irritable husband or wild kids, you’re not going to be able to take your time. Why do you need to take your time? So you can really evaluate the products you’re buying so you can make sure you’re getting the lowest prices (always looks at price per unit).
7. Bring Cash. Give yourself a budget and only spend the cash you bring. Paying by debit or credit means you don’t have to pay attention to the total cost. Pay with cash and you’ll have to pay attention or you’ll be one of those people removing items at the check stand.
8. Bring a Calculator. Take your time and calculate the total cost of your purchase as you go. Instead of doing it in your head, bring a small calculator.
9. Use a Basket. If you are only buying 2 weeks of food (based on your menu), you should be able to fit it in a basket instead of a cart. If you have to carry what you’re buying, you’ll buy less (plus it’s a way to add a little exercise in).
10. Buy Less Meat. Meat is expensive. Plan a few meals without meat and you’ll save money.
11. Canned or Frozen. Yes, fresh vegetables are fantastic. But they’re also more expensive, and if you don’t eat them right away, they rot and end up in the trash can. The beauty of canned or frozen vegetables is flexibility. Yes, it’s not as fantastic, but you’re still eating vegetables – which is healthy.
12. Plan some dollar meals. Challenge yourself to plan a couple meals each week that cost only $1 per person. Get creative and have fun with it. Include other members of the family as well. Challenging your child to prepare a meal for $1 per person will teach them the value of money as well as get them to creatively solve problems. And don’t cheat and eat only ramen (unless you add some affordable additions to it, like vegetables, beans, or meat).
13. Replace Soda with Iced Tea. Instant iced tea is a lot cheaper than soda, and you still get that caffeine fix.
14. Cereal Night. There’s no shame in having a “Cereal Night” every once in a while. It’s cheap, quick, and healthy.
15. Buy Stuff for Lunch. Packing a lunch for work is a hassle, but this goes back to avoiding fast food. The hassle will save you money (and inches).
16. Potatoes. Potatoes are cheap and there are hundreds of ways to prepare them. Don’t waste money on frozen french fries when you can whip up your own for a lot less.
17. Avoid Canned Soup. You can make soup yourself a lot cheaper and a lot healthier. If you are in love with soup, challenge yourself to cook your own soup every other week. Learn some new recipes and save money.
18. Get Creative. Get creative and think of some other ways to save money while grocery shopping. The best resource you have is yourself! What ideas can you think of?
Filed under: Family, List, Money | Tagged: budget, finances, grocery, grocery shopping, Money, save, save money, shopping | 1 Comment »
If you have problems with circulation (cold feet, cold hands, vericose veins, etc), try some of these techniques to improve your blood circulation. These techniques are not original. They are compiled from a variety of sources (links to original sources provided).
1. Hot and Cold Treatments. Hot and cold Showers or Hydrotherapy is a good way of improving your circulation. It is something you can do every day, concentrating on the effected area. When you get hot under a shower the blood rushes to the skin and feeds it. Then when you immediately put on the cold, the blood rushes to the internal organs. You shiver, but what is happening is that your blood is flushing out your skin and leaving it oxygenated. Then, again, a hot shower and the blood rushes from your internal organs, so flushing them, to your skin.
Your circulation is increased just by the action of your blood being forced rapidly around your body. This hot and then cold water can be repeated up to 5 or 6 times for optimum results. Do not start straight away on very hot or very cold water. Gradually increase the temperature difference between the hot and cold water over a period of a few weeks so that it is not too much of a shock to the system. This single action can dramatically improve your circulation over time.
You can also do this to a single body part. You don’t just have to do this to the whole body. Use it to improve poor leg circulation or bad hand circulation etc. Try it. It really can make a difference over time.
2. Cayenne. Internally cayenne stimulates the heart, regulating the blood flow and strengthening the arteries and capillaries. If you want to get your blood flowing, and your face red with blood take cayenne tincture. It will not only get the blood pumped around your body, but it will strengthen your heart, clear your arteries, and research has shown that hot herbs raise your metabolic rate by as much as 25%, so will assist in weight loss. Cayenne is a wonderful herb for a healthy life.
3. Ginkgo Biloba. Ginkgo Biloba is another all-round circulation booster. It is most widely know for its ability to improve memory, due to its ability to increase blood flow through the brain. In Germany, Gingko is used by physicians to treat varicose veins. It like cayenne improves blood flow and strengthens blood vessels. Gingko is also anti-inflammatory, relaxes the lungs, improves blood flow to the heart and lessens coronary demand for oxygen -reducing shortness of breath and is helpful in asthma. Use it to treat poor circulation, thrombosis, varicose veins, cramp, and spontaneous bruising.
4. Dry Natural Skin Brush. Every morning wake up and brush your skin with a dry natural skin brush.
5. Try an inversion table. I’ve never seen one of these at a gym, but perhaps some out there do have them. I would suggest to improve circulation try using an inversion table, which you lay down, hook your feet to, and lean backward until you are almost completely upside down. It not only helps to improve circulation, but also to decrease stress.
6. Breathing. Most of us use the Lungs at a small fraction of their full efficiency. If we carry out deep breathing to use the Lungs more fully, this will get more oxygen into the blood, remove waste products from the blood – especially carbon dioxide – more quickly; and generally help to speed up the circulation of the blood.
7. Stress Relief. Stress can be a cause of foot circulation problems as the body limits blood supply to the feet and other extremities so it can be diverted to the major organs. This means that circulation to areas such as the feet and hands will be affected. Some ways to combat stress are meditation, deep breathing exercises or maybe even watching a funny movie.
8. Elevate Feet. Raising the feet for short periods can help get the circulation moving through the feet. By placing your feet on a chair or sofa as you lie on the floor blood will drain from each foot and when the feet are return to the floor freshly oxyg.
9. Exercise. One simple way to improve your poor foot circulation is to become more active. Physical activities such as walking, swimming, running etc will all help to improve blood circulation if performed regularly. Start off with a steady walk and increasing the pace and length of the walks over time will get the blood pumping and start to open up the smaller blood vessels. Check out 20 Creative Ways to Get Exercise to squeeze in more exercise.
10. Eat Better. Eating a healthier diet and reducing your fat intake will improve your circulation because there will be less fat in the blood stream which will make the blood less viscous and allow it to flow through the small blood vessels more easily. Increasing fiber in the diet will also help remove fat from your system and improve the circulation even more.
11. Get Massages. Massages are an excellent way to improve blood circulation. They are essential to over all good health because massages rid toxins and drain lymph nodes, they also improve look and feel of your skin.
12. Stretch. Stretch. At your desk, there are many stretches you can do. This will promote blood circulation and energy. In chair yoga we use some of these strecthes:
1) spinal twist:
(twisting to your right, take right hand over the back of your chair, take left hand to the right knee, now twist and breath.
Do the same for opposite side.)
Cat cow pose:
1) With your hands placed on your knees, curl your spine, arch back and look up as you inhale
as you exhale, round spine, tuck tummy in and press chin into your chest)
Neck stretch:
1) Tilt your head to the right. Take your right hand to the left ear. Stay here and feel the stretch on the left side between your ear and shoulder. DO the same on the other side.)
13. Tap Yourself. Make fists and gently tap your knees, thighs, back and ribcage. This gets the blood moving.
Filed under: Physical Health | Tagged: circulation, cold feet, improve circulation, increase circulation, Physical Health | Leave a Comment »
We all get criticized, but sometimes criticism goes too far. It just – gets to us. Here are some ways to respond to the kind of criticism that makes you want to scream.
1. Consider the Source. If you’re being criticized by someone who doesn’t matter to you, then why should their opinion matter to you?
2. Recognize online haters for what they are. And what are they? Pathetic. You know who these people are. They get their kicks out of antagonizing others. They think they’re being smart, but really they’re just acting like immature bullies. Recognize them for what they are, and don’t let their poisonous criticism get to you.
3. Just because someone is an “expert” doesn’t make them right. Granted, some criticism you receive may be accurate, but don’t take nasty criticism to heart just because the person dishing it out is perceived as an expert. Other people may bow down to them, but you don’t have to.
4. Criticism is NOT constructive feedback. This is not a game of semantics. People who defend their criticism as “just trying to help” are full of it. There is a HUGE difference between destructive criticism and constructive feedback. What’s the difference? It’s a matter of respect, and it’s that respect that dictates how we interact with one another. If someone respects you, they will give you constructive feedback in a non-threatening way. If it’s coming at you in cutting and rude ways, that person has no respect for you.
5. Roll your Eyes and Flip them Off. This is a very childish way to deal with criticism. But in the privacy of your own home where they can’t see you – it can be pretty darn fun and relieving.
6. Don’t get Defensive. If you’re receiving nasty and inaccurate criticism, don’t bother getting defensive. You can argue logically until you are blue in the face. Nothing will change. So don’t waste your energy trying to prove to some irrational jerk you’re right. Do something more positive with your time.
7. Be direct. If you choose to respond, and it’s usually best not to, do it directly and privately. Avoid doing it in a public forum, which is the kind of attention certain types of people feed on. Confronting critical bullies in person or by phone may be more effective than through e-mail or other online forums. Don’t put yourself in physical danger, though.
8. Don’t take the bait. Criticism is often just a way to bait someone into something entertaining for the antagonist. Don’t take the bait. Envision their criticism bouncing off you and sticking to them (remember the childhood rhyme?)
9. Thank them. Thank the individual for their criticism and go about your way. Let them know you appreciate them sharing their opinion, and let them know that you’ll “think about what they said.” Just don’t mention that while you’re thinking about it, you’re going to be laughing (and potentially swearing) at them.
10. Compliment them. This goes along the line of thanking them, but it forces you to think something positive about the person who just criticized or insulted you. You’ll have more positive feelings towards them and their criticism will hopefully seem just silly.
11. Consider their motivation. Is this person just trying to piss you off? What are they trying to get out of criticizing you. Taking a moment to reflect on their possible motivation will help put things into perspective for you. It’s usually more about them than it actually is about you.
12. Ask them to stop. Rather than trying to prove to them why they are wrong, try asking them to stop – and ask nicely. The chances of this working probably aren’t that high when you’re dealing with most jerks, but it’s a worth shot. It’s a civil way to react – if you feel you must react.
13. Forget about it. Don’t waste your time obsessing about the criticism, the person, or other people’s reactions. Time you spend thinking about negative criticism is time you could spend doing something awesomely creative – like thinking of a new invention or what you’ll be having for dinner. The more you think about negative stuff, the more that negative energy surrounds you and brings you down. Let your thoughts go somewhere more positive – don’t let your criticizers have the power to get into your head. You are better than that.
14. Spread compliments. For every criticism you receive, give out three sincere compliments to other people in your life (through their blogs, at work, on the phone, strangers, etc). It’s like paying it forward but even better. Take something negative and turn it into three positive things. Imagine what your life (and the world) would be like if we all did that.
15. The never-sent letter. Have some things you’d like to get off your chest? Write that letter, and be as nasty or as honest as you’d like to be. This is best hand-written, but I personally like to write on my computer because it’s faster and I can edit. If you write it on your computer, print it – then delete it. Yes, delete it. This is a crucial part. Read it a few times, then grab a coffee can, go outside, and set it on fire. Watch it burn – and let all those negative feelings you put into the letter burn with it.
Some other ideas:
7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism
Filed under: List, Mental Health, Personal Growth, Relationships, School, Work | Tagged: critic, critical, criticism, defensive, nasty, responding, rude | Leave a Comment »
1. Copy. That’s right. When you’re on the dance floor, pick someone who looks like they know what they’re doing – and copy some of their moves. Don’t stare at them and make it obvious, though – just peek over once in a while and get some ideas and how to move your body.
2. The beat. When you’re listening to music (dancing or not) listen hard for the different beats. When you’re dancing, you’ll choose which beat to dance to (pick the main beat to show you have rhythm.) Even small movements to a beat are better than big movements off-beat.
3. Youtube. Plenty of how-to videos are waiting for you on youtube. Check them out, learn some decent dance moves.
4. Be confident. But not too confident. If you’re feeling good and having fun, you’ll look better than if you’re stiff from nervousness and anxiety.
5. Take a class. If you’re serious about dancing, the best place to learn is from a professional. It might be worth the money to receive personalized lessons.
Here’s some extra tips: Club Dancing: A Survival Guide
Filed under: List, Physical Health, Random | Tagged: club, dance, dance moves, dancing, improve | Leave a Comment »
Talking about having children with your spouse may be something very natural – you may have already talked about all of these items. If so, nice work! If not, go at it.
1. Complications. If you aren’t able to get pregnant, what options are you willing to seek out? Adoption? Fertility treatment? How long will you try? Agreeing on this before you start trying to get pregnant will prevent painful arguments if you encounter complications.
2. Guardians. Who will you select as your childrens’ guardians if something should happen to you? Be sure to include this in your will, and if you don’t have a will, be sure to get one before having children.
3. How many. This is such a common question that I doubt anyone will need to be reminded to discuss it. Agreeing on how many children you both wish to try for is important, especially if you don’t agree.
4. Parental Roles. Before you get thrown into it and you just have to “wing it,” talk about the roles you will each have. Will Dad be exempt from diaper changes or late-night rockings? Will mom be exempt from disciplining? Don’t wait to play it by ear, or one of you may unexpectedly get stuck with a lot more responsibilities than you’d like.
5. Time in between. If you’d like to have more than one child, how much time (do you think) you’d like to have between children? This will help you prepare for family planning after you have (or adopt) your first child.
6. School. I realize your child has quite some time before they reach school-age, but talking about private versus public school could help you plan for the future. For example, if you decide it’s important for your children to go to private school, you might want to spend their first 5 years saving money to afford the tuition. Or if you decide your children should be home-schooled, who will be the one to stay home?
7. Birth. Do you want to have your child in a hospital or at home? Do you want certain family members or friends to be there? Do you want to have your child in a specific location? Some of these answers might influence when you try to time your conception and expected birth. For example, If you want to have your child in your hometown where your parents are, maybe you’ll want to time it for the summer if you have the summer off.
8. Money. If you are worried about having the financial security to support a child, perhaps discussing some financial goals would benefit you. Maybe you want to set a goal of saving a certain amount of money before having your first child.
9. Childcare. Will one of you stay home? Will you send your child to daycare? Will a family member baby-sit your child while you both work? Can you afford your preferred childcare option?
10. Discipline. What are your beliefs and values regarding discipline? How will you teach your child right from wrong, keep them safe, and parent them to become healthy and responsible adults? Do you believe in spanking? Do you think you should both read some books on the subject to become better educated? Whatever your choice, if you can agree on a plan for discipline, you’ll avoid parenting differences that will drive you both mad.
11. Disability. If your child has a disability or other complication - will you be able to handle it? What resources do you have available?
12. Religion/Spirituality. What role will religion play in your family and parenting? If you have different faiths, how will you manage that? What will you teach your children?
13. Strong enough. Is your marriage strong enough to handle having a baby? Having a child or getting pregnant will not magically solve your marriage difficulties. If anything, it will put additional stress on your relationship. Honestly discuss whether or not your relationship is strong enough. If it’s not, what can you to do make it so?
14. Twins. What if you get pregnant with twins? How will you handle that?
15. Back to work. How soon should you go back to work? Or will you?
16. Keeping up with the Johnson’s? Ask yourself, honestly, if your desire to have children has anything to do with the fact that all your friends and family members seem to be getting pregnant. Are you feeling pressure? Got the baby-bug? Evaluate your motivation for wanting to get pregnant and have children right now. Be honest.
17. Support System. Talk about your support system. It will be handy to have friends and family to lean on when you enter the world of parenting. Whether your searching for advice, free baby-sitters, or some financial help – do you have a strong support system?
18. Are you ready to grow up? Are you ready to be a parent? Are you both ready to be 100% responsible for another individual? If you aren’t taking good care of yourself, it might be hard to convince your partner that you’ll be able to take care of a child.
19. Are you willing to be gender-blind? You may secretly be wishing for a boy or girl. Are you prepared to have either? What’s your stance on shaping gender behaviors? Can boys play with dolls and girls with trucks?
20. Sexual Orientation. What are your beliefs and feelings regarding sexual orientation. If your child is straight, bisexual, homosexual, transgender, or transexual – how will you handle that?
21. For women, are you ready to give up your body? Trying to get pregnant, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and weaning are all part of choosing to get pregnant. Are you ready to surrender your body and experience having a child from beginning to end? Including the potential complications?
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22. Privileges. What are you beliefs and abilities to give your children certain privileges like a car or college tuition? Do you think your children should be responsible for those? Are you going to start saving for those items?
23. Alone. Could you and how would you raise this child alone? Life happens. Death can take parents away with little warning. Even though you don’t want to think about, divorce can leave you as a single-parent as well. Can you plan for these events (life insurance)?
24. Gifts. What kind of gifts will be appropriate for your children? Are you a believer in spending a ton of money on gifts, or do you think modest and more practical gifts are better?
25. Parenting Class. If you both want to be effective parents, are you willing to take parenting courses?
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