15 Reasons NOT to shave your head

It was a sad day in my life when George Carlin passed away. Yes, he was a crazy drug user in his days and (in his words) he was old as f@#%. I enjoyed his humor, and even though his schtick was negative, vulgar, and downright mean, It’s hilarious. It makes me laugh. And laughter makes people happy. So George Carlin is a welcomed inspiration here at Happy Lists.

This list is inspired by one of his routines. The clip of the specific joke can be found here.

I say hey, you goofy looking baldy-headed f@#$. It looks good on black guys. On you, it’s ugly, repulsive, and disgusting. You want to be bald? Do what I did. Wait a while. In the meantime, there’s no excuse for running around looking like a freshly circumcised pig.”

~ George Carlin

Reasons NOT to shave your head

*Please note: This blog entry is just for fun. If you are white and want to shave you’re head, go for it! I’m sure you look great. Don’t take this post too seriously.

1. You’re White. Sorry guys, I’m going to have to side with George Carlin, as will a lot of other women. It’s just kind of gross when your head is shaved. You’re white. You just can’t pull it off that well.

2. You HAVE hair. If you’re not having a balding problem, what are you thinking? You HAVE hair. And in our culture, hair is a valued asset. Appreciate it. There are plenty of baldy-headed guys out there who would. Show them some respect!

3. Sunburn. This goes back to being white, but even if you’re not white – that scalp of yours that has never seen daylight will burn. And let me tell you, that’s REAL attractive. Was that a skin flake I saw just fall to the table during our date? Ooohhh…sexy.

4. The illusion of saving you money. Shaving your head will save you money? Really? You didn’t buy an extra razor to do it yourself did you? If it’s summer, you’ll want to invest in sunblock. And if it’s winter, you might want to invest in a beanie. Money? Splurge for the $7.95 haircut at Supercuts every other month. It’ll be worth it!

5. It makes you cooler. I mean doesn’t. I’m not saying it doesn’t make you look totally radical and awesome. I’m saying that if you’re reason for shaving your head is to “keep cool” while it’s hot out, you’re silly. There’s a reason those middle-easterners rap their heads in cloth. It’s not a fashion statement. Hair is a good way to protect your head from the sun’s blaring rays. So yes, shaving a dog helps them cool down seeing as they don’t sweat like human. But if shaving your head is the only way for you to cool down, I think you might want to seek some medical advice.

6. You’re not in the military. Are you?

7. Skinheads. I don’t think you EVER want to be confused or accused of being a Skinhead.

8. Ancient Greece. If you’re into history. Long hair was a sign of richness and wealth, and shaved heads were saved for slaves.

9. Punishment. Do you realize that people get their heads shaved as punishment? Think prisons, people, prisons.

10. Lice Problem. Wait, this is a reason TO shave your head. Yucky.

11. Supporting Cancer Patients. Again, this is a good reason TO shave your head. If your not shaving your head to support someone going through chemotherapy…it’s not half as cool. Sorry.

12. Britney Spears. Right?

13. Funny Shaped head. You may not realize it, but chances are that you have a funny shaped head, and this will only be more obvious once the hair is gone.

14. Super Hot. If you’re not, you’re not going to pull it off. Your girlfriend saying you are super hot doesn’t qualify you as super hot, either.

15. Not for you. If you’re considering shaving your head for anyone but yourself (minus #11), don’t do it. If you’re not doing it for YOU, then it’s not for you.

*Update: This is intended to be humorous, not hurtful.  If you’re offended because you or someone you love has a shaved head – relax.  I’m sure you look fine.  This is just my opinion.

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9 Responses

  1. Hey I just discovered your blog via a link from Listverse.com :-)

    Nice work :-)

    Maybe you should’ve called this list ’15 Reasons NOT to shave your head if you’re a guy’ ‘cos most (if not all) the points you made refer to men.

    Plenty of men I know think it’s hot when women shave their hair off – GI Jane style. I had mine short most of last year, it was 2mm long, and most people thought it was a great haircut lol.

  2. #13 – I agree. The “pack of hot dogs” look…gee, somebody ought to tell ‘em!

  3. To the poster…

    You are a foolish shallow person. And I wish you well in this shallow consumerist world, because ultimately you wlil NOT find happiness and meaning in your life, and fall back upon religion, most likely christianity, in a pointless quest to find meaning in your life. But in the end you will die alone and clueless about what is really important in life.

  4. Real men look good no matter the hair style.

    Most wont even dignify this with a response..

    I’m white,
    I shave by choice,
    My wife refuses to let me grow it back because I DO look much hotter this way.

    I suppose if someone is considering shaving their head, and let posts like yours dissuade them, perhaps they shouldn’t loose the dew.

  5. White

    I don’t think I’m hot, but everyone who’s seen me with hair and shaved says shaved is WAY better. I guess everything is relative.

    I’ll probably never grow my hair out again.

  6. this is the funniest thing I’ve heard, i have a bald head and am white and i look just fine, and who said it was cool do do what our culture thinks, have a mind for yourself and stop following other pepple

  7. You left out 3 other reasons: 16. Environmental Impact – You’re spending more time in the bathroom using more water, soap, razor blades, electricity, etc. 17. Religious Fundamentalism – Check out ‘I Corinthians 11:3-15′ in the Bible. 18. Angry Revisionists – This has been a trademark of right-wing reactionaries since Oliver Cromwell and the Roundheads of England in 1660s.

  8. I know it’s way past the original posting date, but if had any sense, you’d know that #11 makes you far more attractive. Who says it has to be true? I just shaved my pasty white balding head, and I’m doing it to support a cancer patient. Not really, but that’s my story, all women believe it, and I and my bedroom are sticking to it.

  9. And why i do shave my head?

    1:Because it’s cool me down (HAHA).

    2:Because i’m puffy

    3:Because when i wake up in the morning . I don’t have to wrestle with my hair.

    4:When the wind blow in my hair .. I don’t have to place it correctly and can enjoy the wind on my head

    5:I don’t have to wait to go sleep when my hair’s wet.

    6:Because Long hair it’s simply not working on me

    7:It’s not either because you have hair , that you’re sexy.

    8:I hate hair

    9:Long hair it’s a burden to me

    10:because it’s show that i attach no value to such worthless thing.Such has hair.

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